Over the past couple of years, our ability to trust has been somewhat challenging and noticeable as a community. However, lack of trust has always been within us, that inner voice triggered by actions that result in us pulling away from people as we no longer trust them because they hurt us.
The definition of trust is to be fully engaged in life, allowing our hearts to open with love and joy.
How do you trust again when you are just coping with life?
If we can relax a little, reduce our anxiety and be mindful we start to trust again. This is easier said than done right! How can you trust when your life is an endless struggle and your mind is constantly racing, that mind talk, the lack of money, joy or love, health our failures and conflict?
Our instinct is to control our life, this is done because we tell ourselves that nothing bad will happen if we can control every aspect of life. A change in our life, big or small makes us feel vulnerable as we have lost control of what we were trying to maintain.
Well reader, welcome to life. We cannot control anything in life. Why would you want to? You would end up living a very mundane and boring life. It is our internal wiring that tells us, when life is out of control, that we will not cope. We have lost our control so now we have self-doubt, self-judgement and we become critical of our life, the life we thought we had control of.
How do we welcome a positive attitude to life when life is ever-changing?
How do you step into relationships with trust, without thinking that it will be like the last disaster relationship?
So many questions about trust, right?
Even though life has thrown unexpected, pleasant, or unpleasant circumstances and surprises just know life is not against you, nor is it for you, it is simply with us. If you start the day with an attitude of anxiety everything you feel in that day will justify your feelings. The people you look out for will make you feel nervous and your day, as you expected, will be stressful.
Trust radiates trust. Learn to observe your fears with care and kindness, listen to the way your body reacts to situations when you are in fear. This is mindfulness. Step into the fear as this will welcome trust.
How do you step in to trust when you have been hurt in the past?
Fake it until you make it! If you have had your heart broken and swear you will never enter another relationship you cause yourself unnecessary anxiety. You are not controlling your life. When you act as if you trust in situations, you soon will control your life. To hide behind a wall of protection will do you no favours. Acceptance builds trust, doesn’t it? Think about it. When you walk into a room of unknown people, and you step in with confidence, kindness, and care (even if you are faking it) you are building trust.
Trusting is not giving up or giving in that is your conditioned mind telling you that. The need to control. When you choose to trust in the day you are in acceptance of what will unfold and the more, we trust and enter our day with empathy and acceptance we are living a meditative life.
If your day turns out to be disturbing or difficult and you can experience it as a gift and welcome it with an understanding that these events are a message to us which will reveal what we need to pay attention to. You will soon see things differently as you take responsibility and not blame the outside world for your lack of trust.
Reframe your demons and enjoy life and what it brings you. How to do this will be in the next blog.